Total Volcano Exploding

by Wadge

subscriber exclusive
1.
00:53
BORA BORA (Instrumental)
2.
SPAZZTIC HENS COME HOME TO ROOST Another log with a blog dictating how to grind Pecking like a spazztic hen, sniveling and hunched Whine about production, how it doesn’t measure up This slop’s from the basement, fucker! So you’re shit out of luck No songs of necrocoprophilia It’s been done a million times Projectile rage with ukuleles Ripping riffs with sick wood chimes Your belly aching makes me grin Uncle Critic knows it all You won’t get no polished masterstroke But perhaps a perforated abdominal wall? Been knee deep in this shit for years Basement grind is for the few! So roll your eyes and perch on high There’s nothing you can do!
3.
MANGROVE LURKING Shield painted swirling form Mangrove lurking Cane body armour Stone axes seeking flesh Split wide open Prongs get caught up in bone Ribcage protruding Heart of the black palm Dogs are nipping at the heels The fallen transformed into meals A leg becomes a dagger fist To stab another in the mist Though never have so many teeth Been plunged into the pulp beneath Masks with hair and shells for eyes Entrance, ensnare and hypnotize
4.
THE BASEMENT SHRINE & STORAGE CLOSET GRIND R-E-S-P-E-C-T That’s what tiki means to me Hail them for eternity Ancient gods from a far off land Filled with rum in the palm of my hand I will do as they command In my basement is a shrine Three mai tais and feelin’ fine Surf, exotica and grind Crank the drum and see them go Mostly fast but sometimes slow Gurgled vocals, how I flow Tiki over here, tiki over there Holy shit! Motherfuckin’ tiki everywhere! Tiki every day, tiki every night Tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki, tiki Outta sight! All around the sound of frantic drums Pounded to chants In an aloha shirt and slacks Watch this haole dance
5.
SLOTH ON THE BEACH Gooey slugs invade Waikiki Basting in their slop Flopped upon the screaming sand Greasy knackwurst in every hand Swimsuits pushed to their limit Barely containing the roasting pork Bubbled up and dripping juice Turning the ocean into soup Who really won the war? Searching for Nazi gold In the mountains of Kaua’i Camouflaged tourists armed with sticks Flopped upon the screaming sand Greasy knackwurst in every hand
6.
RANDALL’S REEF Racing into the lagoon Cranked and flying high Randall in an outrigger Beneath a fallout sky Spears they spray like hailfire Helpless skulls are skinned Puncture wounds and gold doubloons Like a Randall in the wind The tempo slider on his skull Set to full force blast Skag Baron of the North East To nuclear war we’re cast Tiki race from far and wide To witness haole freak Gotta go score, but he’ll be back for more Another day in Randall’s Reef
7.
ENCHANTED SUNDOWN Light the torches and grab the mallets Feel the vibes creep in Outriggers hover above the huts Marquesans born of blasted palm Sunset draws a line to sand Glowing eyes reflect Yeti detonate armament While Witco storm the bar And everywhere grins abound Rhythmic chants Kava kava bowls Sky bursts flare Over the lagoon
8.
KILLKER IN KAUA’I Ascending up a trail, it’s Danny Lilker on vacation SLAUGHTER blasting headphones, on his skirt it’s INCANTATION In the thick of Kaua’i he grunts and raises claws Sleeveless bright aloha shirt, on mango flesh he gnaws Comes upon a clearing packed with drums and full of tents At least a dozen tie died hippies reeking horrid scents Lilker pauses ‘Fuck of Death’ and stands there dropping jaw The biggest joint he’s ever seen and he’s in fucking awe! The hippies they annoy The hippies fucking suck But they’ve got papers, they’ve got weed Enough to fill a truck Lilker scratches chin Considers pros and cons Shakes his head, forms the horns And summons Abbadon! (Don Knotts) Just then from the jungle, fuckin’ Rich Hoak appears Swinging on a vine with one arm, Lilker fuckin’ cheers! They form a tag team then and there they call The Grindcore Gents Not the best name, yeah, I know, but it can pay two rents Texas Death Match in the woods, hippies ripped to shreds Nothing to gain but murder, now all are true deadheads They pack the bong from Lilker’s bag and hit A wild boar gets contact high and shits The Gents reminisce about past shows and smile Rich Hoak thinks he sees a crocodile That can’t be so No crocs in Hawai’i, yo This rules the race Hawai’i takes first place!
9.
LITTLE ISLAND Long pig rage from massive boat Beating chest and shaking throat Vacant soon this rabid look shall be Swinging from a hungry hook so free Chanting in the circles banging war Spits spin grease once more Carvers pummel rock, scorching wood Children swaying underneath the thatch Little island, bathing in the moon Little island, middle of the sea So calm, these shores So pure, her sands Alone, in time Why can’t you drift away?
10.
TOTAL VOLCANO EXPLODING Total volcano exploding with lava flying everywhere People in their underwear running for their lives Tectonic vomit - Ring of Fire Trample the neighbours, hit the splits Ring of Fire - the Ring of Fire There goes Larry, cooked to shits Gonna need some oven mitts Mother’s crust is heaving chunks Human donuts in for dunks Ahoy there pahoehoe, whadda you say? How many people will you smother today? “Think I’ll slurp up a generation, woman, child and man” Keoahikamakaua hovering there
11.
02:13
SLOPESMOKERS Raise grips in front of the monolith Insides writhe entwined in myth Rise from the hillsides earthly throned Laid back slopesmokers smirking stoned God of fire sends lightning spears Ignite volcanoes that explode for years Over the mountains plague and war Slave traders storm the jagged shore And all along they emanate wisdom through their gaze Pressed mouths seep the latent phrase Some lie toppled mid telepath In time they’ll evaporate the wrath Into the atmosphere with a blast Trailing spray as they’re racing past This is only just the start What lies beyond would blow your mind apart…

about

GK#200 c&p 2012 karaoke/wadge

credits

released April 10, 2012

GRINDCORE CINEMA presents
an UKULELE PRINCESS production
"Total Volcano Exploding"

Designed and carved at Tiny Bubbles Studio & Shave Ice Stand.

Sanded and varnished by Scott Hull at Visceral Sound.

Mahalo to J. Randall for actions above and beyond.

Artwork by Yuzuru Namiki - www.yzrcraftsman.com

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