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Killker in Kaua'i

from Total Volcano Exploding by Wadge

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lyrics

KILLKER IN KAUA’I
Ascending up a trail, it’s Danny Lilker on vacation
SLAUGHTER blasting headphones, on his skirt it’s INCANTATION
In the thick of Kaua’i he grunts and raises claws
Sleeveless bright aloha shirt, on mango flesh he gnaws
Comes upon a clearing packed with drums and full of tents
At least a dozen tie died hippies reeking horrid scents
Lilker pauses ‘Fuck of Death’ and stands there dropping jaw
The biggest joint he’s ever seen and he’s in fucking awe!
The hippies they annoy
The hippies fucking suck
But they’ve got papers, they’ve got weed
Enough to fill a truck
Lilker scratches chin
Considers pros and cons
Shakes his head, forms the horns
And summons Abbadon! (Don Knotts)
Just then from the jungle, fuckin’ Rich Hoak appears
Swinging on a vine with one arm, Lilker fuckin’ cheers!
They form a tag team then and there they call The Grindcore Gents
Not the best name, yeah, I know, but it can pay two rents
Texas Death Match in the woods, hippies ripped to shreds
Nothing to gain but murder, now all are true deadheads
They pack the bong from Lilker’s bag and hit
A wild boar gets contact high and shits
The Gents reminisce about past shows and smile
Rich Hoak thinks he sees a crocodile
That can’t be so
No crocs in Hawai’i, yo
This rules the race
Hawai’i takes first place!

credits

from Total Volcano Exploding, released April 10, 2012

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